A Problem with Art Criticism and Ranking Works

What is your favourite [fill in blank]?

It's a question you may have been asked so many times you have lost count. I bet many art critics get asked it so many times that they have developed a default answer to which ever subject it is.

For example, movies can be placed on this hierarchical pyramid I just made up.

Here's its breakdown.

1. Kane's Podium. Named after the protagonist of "The Greatest Movie of All Time." These are the movies you'll find in any critic's Top Ten Favourites. 
2. Near Masterpieces. Those movies that are beyond "good" that can be considered "masterpieces" or "classics." Most high brow and art house movies can be found here.
3. The Good Movie bundle. Movies that are not good enough to be near masterpieces, but good enough to be worth seeing in a multiplex. If it appeared on TV, you might consider watching it.
4. Multiplex Filler. Movies you only remember as posters on the walls of multiplexes while going to see a "good movie" or only saw because the "good movie" you wanted to see was sold out or not on a convenient time. Also commonly seen on TV A LOT.
5. The Direct-to-Video Bargain Basement Bin. It doesn't need explaining.

Now, I know some will question where some of the movies I have chosen to feature are placed on this graphic. But it was made in a bit of a hurry, so shot me. But your disgust proves my point I am making. Also, consider this question.....

Where would you put Star Wars on this pyramid? 

Many would place A New Hope in the good movie bundle, due to snobbery against everything sci-fi. Some would place it on Kane's Podium (and defend it with their lives). Only ill-educated morons (and I use these terms very broadly) would place it below the "good movie bundle."

And that's just factors present-day opinions. An opinion of something can change over time, due to many factors that one can't just out, because the relationship between a fan and a work of art can be as complicated as one between two human beings.

You see the problem?

Art (like politics) is a very subjective subject. Every person has their own definition to what is considered "art" or what is a "masterpiece." Its something many people know and don't know at the same time. They know "everyone is entitled to their own opinion" but they will get angry anyway when they hear someone say "I like Digimon/Hollyoaks/James Blunt." You can't win against everyone, no matter what you like. Even if the thing in question is brad new or something that has been part of the wallpaper for centuries.

That's why, if you ask me "what is my favourite [insert thing here]?" my answer may be different every time. It could be because of who is asking or how I feel at the time.

Honestly, I find finding favourites very hard. I find it easier if I'm asked for a "top 3/5/10" of a thing. As long as I can have them in order of what I think of first. No hierarchy. No number 1 top of the pile choice. Just a small chosen selection.

Work, New Years Resoulations and Pizza

I don't do new year resolutions. A year is a very long time to commit to something trivial, like many common new year resolutions. But if I did make one last year (and the year before, to be honest) it'll be this..... Get a job.

Since graduation in 2012 I was in, what you may call, the "finding your voice" stage of my creative career. Or, as Daily Mail readers would call "scrounging off the state time." A lot of people have some idea what they want to do when they leave school or higher education. But I didn't. I had no idea what I actually wanted to do for a living.

Also, been autistic, most of my time at education was focused on academic stuff and getting good grades. I rarely socialised with school friends. I didn't get a part-time job while studying. I didn't even attend my school prom. I was just wasn't interested. It's only recently I realised this and its consequences.

During that time I had some assistance from the National Autistic Society. It started with been given a mentor that forced me out of the house once a week to meet up. Soon, someone in the office heard about my talents and I was asked to edit a newsletter for them, beginning my professional career. By 2014 I began to instigate small talk without prompt. Something I never did before.

Things were improving. Then my dad died, and a few other relatives very quickly, triggering a bout of depression that needed pharmaceutical intervention. And in 2017 the allowances I was provided by the government were cut. For months I had no income what so ever. So, I was made to sign up to the infamous Universal Credit system that has become famous for reasons that'll mark it as successful as the Corn Laws.

So, I needed money, and Universal Credit was paying me pathetically.

After my stand-up debut in 2016 the thought of finding employment lingered in my mind. I thought that by 2018 I'll get a job. That didn't happen. Because of my lack of social skilling during my school years, I needed help. So I got help.

Last week, thanks to the assistance of Remploy, I got my first ever paid job - delivering pizzas.

On my search to find jobs, I pondered about applying for jobs I found advertised in take-aways looking for delivery drivers. I had been fetching and taking things to and from family members since I got my licence, so I thought such a job will be no different, except  that I'll be doing it a dozen times in a couple of hours a night and I GET PAID TO DO IT.

I am still on the look out for creative jobs, and applied to a few. The pizza thing is just something to rake in money until then. And I'm glad I got it, as my finances were not so good when I started.

So that's what's been happening in the past while. And since its Christmas, here's my card to you all....

I admit that I struggled to think of a design for this year's card, 

but this late development gave me some inspiration.

Book idea I just had.... A sciecne book for artists

One of the biggest "facts" in the world is that science and art separate things.

This is complete bull$%£".

The separation of art and science, academically, is a recent invention. Until the 19th century the border that separated scientists and artists were a blur. Think Pythagoras, Leonardo da Vinci, and the guys who invented photography, if you want examples. 

The reason I bought this up is because of an idea I just had today....

A science book aimed at artists.

I have the skills and knowledge to do it, but should I pursue it?

The term "artist" is pretty loose in definition here. It can include cartoonists and animators, as well as writers, illustrators, cross-stitchers, and musicians. And I'm sure many of them have wondered about science once in a while.

It'll be like David Macaulay's The Way Things Work, 

if you wanted an idea what this book might look like.

But, I'll only do it if you demand it.

If you do, leave a comment.

(especially if you happen to be an artist who struggled to understand science.)

I once made an app!!!

The following link is to my art gallery blog, where I have just put on exhibit an interesting relic from my years of higher education.

https://gordonwallaceart.blogspot.com/2018/10/cartoon-connections-flash-app-2009.html

Meme Dictionary Update

I have published on a separate page a list of (almost) all the subjects my meme dictionary will cover.

You can access it by clicking here.

By the way - like the banner?

The Start of (possibly) Many Teardowns

Have you ever had the urge to take a screwdriver to something to take it apart just to look inside it?

I have. Just today I did this.....

I purchased this Acctim alarm clock last year, during my crazy eBay binge. Its fully-mechanical! Yes, you can buy a mechanical spring-powered clock made this century. That's why I bought it. Cost me less than £10. 

Now, I do already have some form of alarm clock at home when I bought this. So why did I do it? 

The answer is above. 

Yes, I bought something just to take it apart.

In fact, I bought a few things just to take them apart. It's only now I got the time to do this teardown. And more are planned in the future, so watch out. 

A Bar Scene from 1891

Written in 2016. First published in News and Views newsletter.

You are in an art gallery confronted by a painting. About A3-sized, the oil painting depicts a Parisian bar full of a dozen customers doing what they usually do in a bar in a style similar to Claude Monet and the like. Behind the bar is a honey-blonde woman serving the drinks with a perifereia of bottles behind her.

“This is one of the noted works of the lesser-known French artist Monet La Trencher – A Bar Scene from 1891. Part of the Neo-Impressionist movement, Trencher explored urban Paris…..”

“Rubbish!”

“Excuse me?”

“This is a fake.”

“And how would you know?”

“Because I am Monet La Trencher. Trencher never existed. I invented him.”

“Why?”

“Shut up, whoever you are. The gallery closes in ten minutes and I got a …"

“Good. Plenty of time for me to spot my deliberate flaws in this painting.”

“Deliberate flaws?”

“Of course. I put a few in to …”

“Just tell us, man.”

“Fine. Notice the youth drinking a coke.”

“Yes, the man holding the coke bottle.”

“That bottle shouldn’t exist in 1891.”

“But I thought coke was invented in the 1880s.”

“Yes, but that bottle wasn’t introduced until 1915.”

(Gasp all round.)

“And there’s more. Notice the bottle of Iron-Brew behind the bar maid. Didn’t exist until 1901. That sign in the background, the font I used is Century Roman, created in 1894.”

“Security!”

Two security guards arrive to drag “Trencher” away.

“The bar serves Strong Bow and Famous Grouse whiskey!”

“Sorry about that. Where were we?”

“He’s right, you know. According to my phone that coke bottle design was first introduced in 1915.”

“And that lass is wearing a fitness tracker.”

“that’s it. Tour’s over. Gallery is about to close everyone. Gift shop is on your right.”

Everyone leaves the gallery. 

The lights go out… 

and (thanks to some luminous dye) the words 

“actually painted in 2013 – Monet La Trencher” appear on the painting.