Acts of Cultural Vandalism #4 - Advertising the Digital Switchover

This edition is an unusual one. Instead of paragraphs of dribble, I'm going to create a sequential story told with words then picture then words then picture and so on. It's like a comic strip.

The subject for this sequential story is my version of a TV ad advertising the Digital Switch-over. I know the last analogue transmitter in Britain was switched off in October, but I only got this idea just a few days ago. Inspired by an early digital TV ad in the late-1990s, here's my take on advertising the digital switch-over.

DIGITAL SWITCH-OVER AD

One of the best things about digital TV (apart from picture quality and an increasing choice of channels) 

is that any television can be converted to receive digital TV.

Yes.

Yes.

I think so.

Crikey, that's old. But yes, any TV, no matter how old, can be converted to digital.

No. That's a radio.

That's a microwave.

That's a washing machine.

That's an aquarium. Nice fish though.

No. That's a mirror.

No. That's a picture frame.

For god sake, what's this guy on!

NO! ITS NOT A.....

OK. Yes it can. Sorry.

Yes. Any computer or internet-enabled device with a screen can become a digital TV.

Err! I'm not sure.

I already covered mirrors, and the answer is still....

Oh, you got one of those mirrors. I think it falls into the same category as crystal balls.

Are you taking the Micky, Doctor? I think you already know the answer.

Anyways, the point is that any TV, computer or internet-enabled device with a screen 

can be made to receive digital TV.

Yes. Any television, no matter how old, can be converted to digital.

I think so, with some tinkerin....

I did. Any TV can...

What.... Is that a Sinclair ZX Spectrum? You must be joke....

I have to stop you there voice-over guy, because I found out you can make a Sinclair ZX Spectrum receive digital TV through the internet. And here's the proof....

So there you have it. My folly into advertising the Digital Switch-over. I wanted this page to go out before March ended because of another event in the world of television. The iconic BBC Television Centre in London is going to shut down by the end of this month (their moving to a new building in Manchester, by the way), so as a tribute the final sketch I usually place at the end of my posts is this....

Note - Photoshop and illustrator CS4 didn't have Gill Sans (the font the BBC currently uses

 in its corporate ID) so I had to use a similar-looking font.

A thought concerning dog genetics

Crufts (one of the biggest events for dog lovers in the year) is on the telly now and it jogged my memory about something years ago.

In 2008 the BBC aired the documentary Pedigree Dogs Exposed, which showed that thanks to years of inbreeding and desire for unnatural features, many pure-breed dogs are suffering severe and deadly genetic disorders... like the Habsburgs. 

Of course, such a documentary created controversy in dog breeding circles and kennel clubs. One result of which (which is why it has jogged my memory) is that Crufts isn't on the BBC anymore. Its now on one of the commercial channels (I thinks it hops channels every year or so). 

Apart from dog lovers having their coverage of Crufts interrupted by TV commercials (which may include some audio messages that only dogs can hear for certain brands of dog food (I'm joking, the but the motive and means exist), the documentary had me thinking about the long term consequences of such deadly inbreeding. If such inbreeding continues that the dog (as a species) dies out, humans will move to breed other animals, most likely cats. When cats die of inbreeding, its a matter of time when someone has the idea of breeding apes for domestication. This will lead to someone breeding intelligence in them and that could result in a revolution that'll enslave the human race. In others word (to sum up) the inbreeding of dogs is the first step in a series of events that'll led to ... The Planet of the Apes!

Who would have thought it. The acts of irresponsible dog breeders would lead to Charlton Heston on that beach saying "Damn you all to hell!" in front of a ruined Statue of Liberty. 

This is a thought I had soon after this documentary came out, so its an old thought.

Since that time, things have improved for dogs, with improved restrictions on what is desirable on dog shows. They are still some irresponsible breeders out there who are (unintentionally) going to cause the enslavement of all humans by intelligent apes, so if you are a pet lover (and don't want your descendants been slaves to the sons of Caesar, the chimp that said "no") be careful where you buy your dogs! The future of the human race (and dogs (and possibly cats as well)) depends on you.

Before I end, I like to point out that I like animals (including dogs), my sister owns three Huskies and many relatives who own pets themselves, so no accusations that I don't know anything about animals (let alone dogs). Anyone who studies high school biology (including me and my sister) knows that inbreeding is a bad idea for any species (including dogs (and cats)).

Pokemon Snowmen

Here's a question. It's snowing and you are an avid Pokemon fan. Which Pokemon should I model? Of the 500-odd creatures to choose from, what is the best to model in the medium of snow? An ice-type (for the obvious reason). A water-type (which would work when the snow starts to thaw), like this well-sculpted Blastoise.

A Pokemon that's white in colour, like this Togepi?

Or something very ambitious or showy, like this Mewtwo one.

Or this very good one.

I'm sure this is a Pokemon, because of its design, but I have no idea what Pokemon this is. 

It's likely to be one of the legendary ones of the later generations, 

but I can't find it in my resources on this image alone. 

Or (the most obvious of all) a Pikachu.

But I think I just found the best snowman you could make. The inspiration came from this picture sent in by a reader to Pocket World Magazine (I occasionally buy it to add to my archive and for my nephew).

A Ditto snowman by James Harvey (aged 10) (from Pocket World Magazine Issue 140 March 2013)

A Ditto. Its perfect. Its simple. It requires little snow to make (ideal for when your urge to create is delayed to when the snow starts to thaw) and (and this is the best bit) its the only Pokemon that can have its ability truly acted out in the medium of snow - transform (but you may require a lot of snow if you plan to transform Ditto into something large (like a Gyarados)).

I like to point out that the Pokemon snowmen images were looked up on Google Images (so I have no idea who made them (except to Ditto)).

Additional note - I just remembered the Zorua and the Zoroark, the recently discovered creatures that can also transform. However, they are difficult to build, as they are fox-like animals on four legs and a lot of hair.

Acts of Cultrual Vandalism #3 - A thought about monster-human unity

I just had a thought. You know in the fictional worlds where monsters, like vampires, werewolves, various demons, and so on, exist? They are usually in conflict with human beings. Some of these people (and I use the word "people" for good reason) usually see themselves as somehow "superior" over mere humans, like white people use to have over everyone else until World War II.
But here's my thought. What if an alien from outer space visited this version of Earth and saw these "monsters" (and I use the quotation marks for good reason) and then saw actual humans, that alien wouldn't tell the difference. Their intelligent (and I use the term "intelligent" loosely to consider the wide spectrum of intelligence levels in the world (Stephen Hawking to Homer Simpson)), (mostly) bipedal creatures with two forward-looking eyes, small noses to have expressional faces, omnivore diets (though some of their teeth can suggest other diets), high vocal ranges (especially the Sirens) and (the most noted feature by humans) various features that have been shaped by human sexual tastes (I don't need to tell you what these things are).

And that's just the biology. Their behavior can be described as similar to humans. If you research human behavior, the many of things you'll find out can also be applied to "monsters" too.  (It's not surprising  since much of this fiction was created and inspired by humans.)

Now, with all this in mind, the boundary between "monster" and human is actually more blurred than you may think.

(But what about witches some of you may ask? Technically, they are individuals with special knowledge, like scientists. They can be neither human or "monster" depending on their genetics. On that note, what about human-"monster" hybrids? Threat them as mixed-raced people? Yes, but not in a racist way! Mixed relationships are on the rise (and I welcome it) so live with it, morons.)

Now, to end this thought, I'm going to follow the example set by Adam Hills. To all those "monsters" who have little regard of their fellow human and humans who think these "monsters" are all menaces that must be dealt with who may be reading this.... DON'T BE DICKS!!!

If an advanced alien race decide to invade Earth and enslave humanity, they will also enslave what have been degradingly-called "monsters" as well, as they don't care about things like supernatural abilities or unholy or in-moral activities. They'll clump you all together indiscriminately and you'll all then have a common cause in a  fight against your invaders. So to make this transition to harmony happen before such a thing happens to us all DON'T BE DICKS!!!

And now a word from our sponsors....

Have a guess who they are. 

For everyone who has worked it out, before you ask I didn't draw the boobs because I'm not that childish!