An alternative history in FMA

I just had a thought about Fullmetal Alchemist (one of my favorite mangas of all time) and its a scary one.

What if... Maes Hughes lived through the events of the story and lived long enough to see the invention of... the carousel slide projector? Oh the horror!

Imagine that! Endless slideshows of baby pictures of Elicia (Which is made worse for Elicia, if you consider that the events of FMA take place in the 1910s and will be in her 40s by the time the slideshow horror).

I did plan to have my own drawings to be on the wall of this picture, but it will have taken ages.

So I had to modify other people's images, so sorry to the original creators of these images. 

I do plan to replace them with my own in the future.

Or maybe, Elicia (or Hues' "friends") will stage their own slideshows as revenge.

I know Armstrong and Fuery aren't in this picture. 

It'll be 50 years since the events of the story,

 so I'm going to leave to you to ponder why they aren't there.

I recently found a fan fiction about Mustang's division doing The Rocky Horror Show as a charity performance. The only qualm I have about this fic is that The Rocky Horror Show wasn't first performed until.... 1973! But the idea is crazy enough for me to forgive the author. The second chapter was only published on the 29th March but I think this is worth reading.

Mustang's crew does The Rocky Horror Show

Dedicated to the memory of Brigadier General Maes Hughes 

1885-1914

Acts of Cultural Vandalism #4 - Advertising the Digital Switchover

This edition is an unusual one. Instead of paragraphs of dribble, I'm going to create a sequential story told with words then picture then words then picture and so on. It's like a comic strip.

The subject for this sequential story is my version of a TV ad advertising the Digital Switch-over. I know the last analogue transmitter in Britain was switched off in October, but I only got this idea just a few days ago. Inspired by an early digital TV ad in the late-1990s, here's my take on advertising the digital switch-over.

DIGITAL SWITCH-OVER AD

One of the best things about digital TV (apart from picture quality and an increasing choice of channels) 

is that any television can be converted to receive digital TV.

Yes.

Yes.

I think so.

Crikey, that's old. But yes, any TV, no matter how old, can be converted to digital.

No. That's a radio.

That's a microwave.

That's a washing machine.

That's an aquarium. Nice fish though.

No. That's a mirror.

No. That's a picture frame.

For god sake, what's this guy on!

NO! ITS NOT A.....

OK. Yes it can. Sorry.

Yes. Any computer or internet-enabled device with a screen can become a digital TV.

Err! I'm not sure.

I already covered mirrors, and the answer is still....

Oh, you got one of those mirrors. I think it falls into the same category as crystal balls.

Are you taking the Micky, Doctor? I think you already know the answer.

Anyways, the point is that any TV, computer or internet-enabled device with a screen 

can be made to receive digital TV.

Yes. Any television, no matter how old, can be converted to digital.

I think so, with some tinkerin....

I did. Any TV can...

What.... Is that a Sinclair ZX Spectrum? You must be joke....

I have to stop you there voice-over guy, because I found out you can make a Sinclair ZX Spectrum receive digital TV through the internet. And here's the proof....

So there you have it. My folly into advertising the Digital Switch-over. I wanted this page to go out before March ended because of another event in the world of television. The iconic BBC Television Centre in London is going to shut down by the end of this month (their moving to a new building in Manchester, by the way), so as a tribute the final sketch I usually place at the end of my posts is this....

Note - Photoshop and illustrator CS4 didn't have Gill Sans (the font the BBC currently uses

 in its corporate ID) so I had to use a similar-looking font.

A thought concerning dog genetics

Crufts (one of the biggest events for dog lovers in the year) is on the telly now and it jogged my memory about something years ago.

In 2008 the BBC aired the documentary Pedigree Dogs Exposed, which showed that thanks to years of inbreeding and desire for unnatural features, many pure-breed dogs are suffering severe and deadly genetic disorders... like the Habsburgs. 

Of course, such a documentary created controversy in dog breeding circles and kennel clubs. One result of which (which is why it has jogged my memory) is that Crufts isn't on the BBC anymore. Its now on one of the commercial channels (I thinks it hops channels every year or so). 

Apart from dog lovers having their coverage of Crufts interrupted by TV commercials (which may include some audio messages that only dogs can hear for certain brands of dog food (I'm joking, the but the motive and means exist), the documentary had me thinking about the long term consequences of such deadly inbreeding. If such inbreeding continues that the dog (as a species) dies out, humans will move to breed other animals, most likely cats. When cats die of inbreeding, its a matter of time when someone has the idea of breeding apes for domestication. This will lead to someone breeding intelligence in them and that could result in a revolution that'll enslave the human race. In others word (to sum up) the inbreeding of dogs is the first step in a series of events that'll led to ... The Planet of the Apes!

Who would have thought it. The acts of irresponsible dog breeders would lead to Charlton Heston on that beach saying "Damn you all to hell!" in front of a ruined Statue of Liberty. 

This is a thought I had soon after this documentary came out, so its an old thought.

Since that time, things have improved for dogs, with improved restrictions on what is desirable on dog shows. They are still some irresponsible breeders out there who are (unintentionally) going to cause the enslavement of all humans by intelligent apes, so if you are a pet lover (and don't want your descendants been slaves to the sons of Caesar, the chimp that said "no") be careful where you buy your dogs! The future of the human race (and dogs (and possibly cats as well)) depends on you.

Before I end, I like to point out that I like animals (including dogs), my sister owns three Huskies and many relatives who own pets themselves, so no accusations that I don't know anything about animals (let alone dogs). Anyone who studies high school biology (including me and my sister) knows that inbreeding is a bad idea for any species (including dogs (and cats)).

Pokemon Snowmen

Here's a question. It's snowing and you are an avid Pokemon fan. Which Pokemon should I model? Of the 500-odd creatures to choose from, what is the best to model in the medium of snow? An ice-type (for the obvious reason). A water-type (which would work when the snow starts to thaw), like this well-sculpted Blastoise.

A Pokemon that's white in colour, like this Togepi?

Or something very ambitious or showy, like this Mewtwo one.

Or this very good one.

I'm sure this is a Pokemon, because of its design, but I have no idea what Pokemon this is. 

It's likely to be one of the legendary ones of the later generations, 

but I can't find it in my resources on this image alone. 

Or (the most obvious of all) a Pikachu.

But I think I just found the best snowman you could make. The inspiration came from this picture sent in by a reader to Pocket World Magazine (I occasionally buy it to add to my archive and for my nephew).

A Ditto snowman by James Harvey (aged 10) (from Pocket World Magazine Issue 140 March 2013)

A Ditto. Its perfect. Its simple. It requires little snow to make (ideal for when your urge to create is delayed to when the snow starts to thaw) and (and this is the best bit) its the only Pokemon that can have its ability truly acted out in the medium of snow - transform (but you may require a lot of snow if you plan to transform Ditto into something large (like a Gyarados)).

I like to point out that the Pokemon snowmen images were looked up on Google Images (so I have no idea who made them (except to Ditto)).

Additional note - I just remembered the Zorua and the Zoroark, the recently discovered creatures that can also transform. However, they are difficult to build, as they are fox-like animals on four legs and a lot of hair.

Acts of Cultrual Vandalism #3 - A thought about monster-human unity

I just had a thought. You know in the fictional worlds where monsters, like vampires, werewolves, various demons, and so on, exist? They are usually in conflict with human beings. Some of these people (and I use the word "people" for good reason) usually see themselves as somehow "superior" over mere humans, like white people use to have over everyone else until World War II.
But here's my thought. What if an alien from outer space visited this version of Earth and saw these "monsters" (and I use the quotation marks for good reason) and then saw actual humans, that alien wouldn't tell the difference. Their intelligent (and I use the term "intelligent" loosely to consider the wide spectrum of intelligence levels in the world (Stephen Hawking to Homer Simpson)), (mostly) bipedal creatures with two forward-looking eyes, small noses to have expressional faces, omnivore diets (though some of their teeth can suggest other diets), high vocal ranges (especially the Sirens) and (the most noted feature by humans) various features that have been shaped by human sexual tastes (I don't need to tell you what these things are).

And that's just the biology. Their behavior can be described as similar to humans. If you research human behavior, the many of things you'll find out can also be applied to "monsters" too.  (It's not surprising  since much of this fiction was created and inspired by humans.)

Now, with all this in mind, the boundary between "monster" and human is actually more blurred than you may think.

(But what about witches some of you may ask? Technically, they are individuals with special knowledge, like scientists. They can be neither human or "monster" depending on their genetics. On that note, what about human-"monster" hybrids? Threat them as mixed-raced people? Yes, but not in a racist way! Mixed relationships are on the rise (and I welcome it) so live with it, morons.)

Now, to end this thought, I'm going to follow the example set by Adam Hills. To all those "monsters" who have little regard of their fellow human and humans who think these "monsters" are all menaces that must be dealt with who may be reading this.... DON'T BE DICKS!!!

If an advanced alien race decide to invade Earth and enslave humanity, they will also enslave what have been degradingly-called "monsters" as well, as they don't care about things like supernatural abilities or unholy or in-moral activities. They'll clump you all together indiscriminately and you'll all then have a common cause in a  fight against your invaders. So to make this transition to harmony happen before such a thing happens to us all DON'T BE DICKS!!!

And now a word from our sponsors....

Have a guess who they are. 

For everyone who has worked it out, before you ask I didn't draw the boobs because I'm not that childish!

Act of Cultural Vandalism #2 - Why the colour blue keeps you awake at night

Blue is my favourite colour. When I was 12, my parents decided that my room required redecorating (the wallpaper was deteriorating (especially with me picking at the loose bits)). I decided to have the walls painted blue (kingfisher blue from the Duluxe range). A few years later I got a blue LED alarm clock for Christmas, which helped me wake up during my years in college. When I was 21 my sister’s room (which was larger than mine) became vacant and was repainted from light purple to a shade of blue similar to paper (I thought I might draw on the walls if I developed the urge (which never happened)). A year later, I moved out to my former Gran’s flat. It was redecorated completely by Christmas. However, this time I decided to have my room painted yellow (which contained light-reflecting particles to make the room brighter (I had my “office” painted in a similar bright blue paint. I might draw on the poster-covered walls).

So why am I telling you all this? It’s because of what was on TV about six months later after decorating my flat. BBC’s Horizon had showed a programme about recent research into how colours can influence our modes and one of things it showed was that the colour blue has the ability to keep people alert and awake. In other words, it’s the caffeine of colours. After watching it, something hit me. Since as far as I can remember this happening to me (sometime after having my room painted blue) I have had trouble going to sleep at night. It could be just my brain not switching off thinking mode, but is the blue I had in my sleeping quarters made it worse. Did I accidentally sabotage my sleep by having my room painted blue (and having a blue bright LED light alarm clock in my room as well)? I got to find out more.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b013c8tb

To save me some bother explaining the basics of the science of colour, here's a 1984 edition of Horizon that explains everything

This observation concerns what scientist call circadian rhythms, or what everyday people call the body clock.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circadian_rhythms

A lot of research over the years have proved that light has a big effect on this internal clock in plants and animals (including humans). The most obvious example of this observation is the experience of “Jet Lag,” where you travel across one or a few time-zones by plane and find yourself tired during the day or wide awake during the night. Inside the artificial-light-filled sealed pressurized vessel that normally called a plane, your body’s photo-sensitive cells (your eyes are not your only light-sensitive organ, your skin is too (it produces Vitamin D when exposed to UV)) are almost denied of any form of sunlight (especially at night), which helps set your internal clock. Without that sunlight accurately setting your clock, you’ll be a few hours fast or slow.

That’s enough about Jet Lag. The heart that could lie in blue’s energy was that the very first ever coloured light receptors were sensitive to blue. In the primordial soups of the early oceans been able to see blue made you able to sense where the sky is, allowing you to orientate your body and have your chloroplasts (the green organelles found in plant cells where photosynthesis takes place) facing the sun. Over time, this led to the creation of the naturally-built-in programmed response that wakes us up when we see blue, no matter what it is. Blue flies, Smurfs, the Tardis, the Blue Man Group, Viagra pills, they all keep us awake at night because of their colour (and other reasons, but I’m not going to waste my time writing them down).

And it’s getting worse. One thing I later found out (on another science programme on the BBC, Bang Goes the Theory) was that fluorescent light produced quite a lot of light in the blue visible spectrum and this light had effects on sleep. Now, I knew that fluorescent light did produce a bluish light before I watched this programme. But, the fact that the expert said it affected sleep made me think back to that Horizon program a year earlier.

Making Fluorescent light on Bang Goes the Theory (2012)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluorescent_lamps_and_health#Blue.2FUltraviolet_Sensitivity

In fact the programme also showed that similar emissions also come from computer screens. Thinking about it, I’m not surprised. Look at how much blue there is on your computer screen when you use Windows! I wonder how many sleepless nights could be contributed to people checking their Facebook status constantly.

A typical screen grab from Windows XP with an offending (but cool) wallpaper. 

Look at all that blue!

So what applications could this observation give to us? Well, through fluorescent lights and PCs using Windows, offices, convenience stores, supermarkets and night clubs already do so (unintentionally?). But, I have thought of one other application that I think no one has ever commented on… let. I don’t need to say it, I’ll just let the picture I found below do the talking….

This is a piece of fan art by someone I don’t know (because it was collected from a random search on Google Images eons ago). It was this very image that made me first think about this application of the properties of blue.

(The face has been blacked-out to protect the unknown artist (and me) from a potential lawsuit from someone who doesn’t understand the term “fair-use” when it comes to documentary.)

After seeing this image, all straight men can agree that this is a great way to use the stimulating power of blue.

As am personally obliged to address the gender balance in reporting scientific findings and possible applications, for all female readers (and gay men (I mustn’t forget)) here’s a very blue image of a quite attractive male (It’s the first person to came to my mind.).

The camel is irreverent.

If you want more ladies (and gents) just go to Google Images and search “Kai Hiwatari” and/or “Beyblade”.

So what have we learned? We have learned that light and colours have a bigger influence on you than you can possibly imagine. You can blame Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg for depriving you of sleep. And (if done properly) blue can be the most attention-grabbing colour of all.

By the way, I still have some trouble switching my brain off at night to go to sleep (despite the fact my room is now yellow). Right now (at the time of writing) my body clock is totally out of step, with me not falling asleep until after 2-3am! I end up very tired during normal waking hours (7-10am). I now mostly wake up at around noon or afterwards (which isn’t good). I haven’t got a job (at all) that requires early waking, so it isn’t a serious problem (for now). Good night.

(Sorry for the lateness of this blog. I had been mentally distracted for a while). 

Invented Word 1 - Sismance

Sismance (sis - mance) - (noun) A combination of the words "sister" and "romance" to describe an affectionately friendly relationship between females. See also - bromance.

I'm not sure if anyone before now has used this word. If this is the first time you'll ever heard of this word, then here's a gift for your vocabulary. I only just thought of it just now (between 7:45-8:00pm GMT 4/2/2013) and its so obvious. I'm surprised that I have never heard of it. I heard of a "bromance" many times for years, but I'll never heard of a "sismance." Is there a need for the word? I think so.

I'm named this post "Invented Word 1" in case I do come up with other new words. I may not, but I like to keep my options open.